Every southern porch must have guardians; it is a proven fact. Without porch guardians, who knows what intruder may sit in your favorite rocking chair, or lounge about the rails and stick half-chewed bubblegum beneath their planks? I should add that deck guardians are also a must.
I should also add that not all guardians are suitable. Some guardians may sleep, or chat too eagerly with their cohorts, or read the newspaper---if, of course, a newspaper is on the premise. Since we are discussing porches (and decks) we must assume this is a likely possibility.
Without a qualified P/D Guardian, unsought visitors may appear. Strange solicitors, pet chickens, crazy people, exiled cult members, or pet chickens for example.
Do the sensible thing: get a porch or deck guardian today, and save yourself the hassle of dealing with these undesirable habitués!
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*This advertisement is funded by the League of Disgruntled Neighbors inc., the Desperate Housewives©, and the American Society of Jobless Animals.
Disclaimer: No sleep was disrupted during the making of this article.*
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